What up with the bad hats and the pleats? Don't play dumb. You know what I mean.
Let's start with the chapeau. The foamy peak atop your forehead (umm, which is quickly becoming a fivehead, which might explain your aversion to the in vogue visor). The near total lack of bend in the peak. I think your choice of headgear, along with the pleats in you pants are holding your game back.
Why, after seven years of sporting your lid in a definitively milquetoast fashion, do you insist on choosing a hat like the one pictured below, and then actually wearing it? I'll take it all back if you're actually going old school on us like these. But somehow, I doubt it.
Buy a hat like that, get a free bowl of soup.
Quite frankly, I'm surprised that you haven't lost that beanie during some of your breezier rounds, having it perched so perilously atop the coiffe. You'd think for $60 million per annum that Nike pays you that they would have the good sense to put you in a hat that doesn't look like it should be askew upon the noggin of the host of one of those cornball sunday morning fishing shows.
And those pleated pants! Please! I suppose if you stick with them long enough they'll come back in fashion. I hear that Nike employs a specific tailor on your behalf to provide you with exactly the cut you're looking for. I guess I should be pleased that I don't see my local muni full of Tiger pant clones. That would be just too much for any one man to endure.
So, two words dawg: flat front. With the shoulders of a prototypical NFL defensive halfback, you hardly need to make your waist look slimmer, so I'm not sure what you're thinking with the pleats. Maybe Elin likes them. If that's the case, you're off the hook. No more grousing. But I'm sure a fashion-wise Scandanavian ex-model knows better. SHE MUST.
Forget all the talk about needing to go back to Butch Harmon, and that Hank Haney is giving you bad advice. Your problem is clearly your fashion choices. Since 2000, your competition has looked to your swing and your dedication to fitness as the standard against which they should measure themselves. It's time you took a look at what your comrades are wearing, and then take it to the next level, a la one Mr. Ian Poulter.
Ian Poulter, setting an example for Tiger.
At this point Tiger, with a majorless streak approaching double digits, and the ever looming threat that you'll be recruited for the first celebrity edition of What Not to Wear, you've got nothing to lose. Heck, go pantless if you have to.
